miles in the middle on my day off (see MJ's blog for pictures) I'm exhausted. Last night I was so tired I think I must know what it feels like to be drunk: brain in a fog, can't come up with words, tongue feels very heavy, feel like you have to overly annunciate everything. Sunday was quite possibly the worst day of my nursing career because I had 6 patients all day, was on two halls, and had very difficult patients to boot. I had two patients our floor dubbed "the midnight screamer" (in restraints), and the flustered crazy man. In an effort to see the funny side (or maybe not so funny side) of my career, I've made the the following list: (all of which I have done in the last 5 days)You know you're a nurse if:
- You are a master of smalltalk while giving shots, suppositories, and putting in catheters
- You are a master of keeping a smile on your face while seeing/doing the most disgusting things a human being will ever see/do
- You know the precise recipe for soup al la PEG tube
- On some days your best friends are demerol, morphine, ativan, valium, haldol, and geodon
- Shoes are the most important part of your wardrobe
- (if you're a cardiac nurse) CABG with LIMA to RCA and R EVH means anything to you (figure that one out Carrie)
- Doctors can either be your best friends or your worst nightmares
- You know 5000 ways to coerce somebody to take medications, get out of bed, stay in bed, take a bath, and stay on the floor and not go outside to smoke
- You wish you could put some of your patients out of their misery and others you would give your right arm to make them well
- Running and crash carts mean BAD NEWS
- People do not have names, only room numbers
- Your Pathfinder knot honor comes in handy when tying a patient up in a Posey
- You have seen every body fluid in every possible color usually shoved in your face by a patient with a proud "LOOK at this!" (but you keep on smiling)
- A code red does not mean "FIRE!" to you, it means, lets round up everything in the hall and put it in a room just so we can take it back out again
- You have forgotten what it feels like to sit down
- You talk about bodily functions over lunch break
- You have forgotten what it feels like to take a lunch break
- You wish your superiors would get the "I did it, so you can do it" attitude out of their heads and adopt a "Because I did it and I know how bad it was, you won't have to do it" frame of mind
- You skip entire holidays every year
- You feel like you are responsible for everything but have control over nothing
Since everybody is getting new Crocs for Christmas, I decided to
get some for myself. I bought a pair of the Mary Jane's to wear to work and they have been a bright spot in my otherwise crazy awful days this week.Can I just say how ready I am to GO HOME! But alas, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day loom ahead. Fortunately, Tara's house is a feasible substitute and I get to go there for the next 3 days!
1 comment:
I'm trying to think of something to add to your list. I know I look around the table and be sure there are no clerical staff before I tell certain stories.
Do you like those Mary Jane Crocs? Are they as good as the regular ones? Inquiring minds want to know.
I asked Santa (Uncle Mike) for pink Crocs for Chrismas. I've been real good, I did have a hard time explaining them to him though :). He works in a hospital I told him to ask a nurse.
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