You may be a nurse if...

You would like to meet the inventor of the call light some night in a dark alley
Your sense of humor gets more warped each year
Almost everything can seem humorous...eventually
You know the smell of different types of diarrhea for identification purposes
You wash your hands BEFORE you use the bathroom
You check the caller ID on your day off to see if work is trying to call and ask you to work
Discussing bodily fluids over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you
You think that caffeine should be available in IV form
You get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf your food even in the nicest restaurants
You believe that unspeakable evils will be befall you if you say, "It's unusually quiet around here today"
You have ever had a patient look you straight in the eye and say "I have no idea how that got stuck there"
Every time someone asks you for a pen you can find at least 4 of them on you
You live by the motto "to be right is only half the battle, to convince the doctor is more difficult"
You've told a confused patient that your name was that of your coworker and to holler it if they need help
Your bladder can expand to the size of a water cooler
You find yourself checking out other customer's veins in the grocery waiting line
You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they will drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off
Your finger has gone places you never thought possible